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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

today’s rant: an experiment in redundancy, originally 11/30/07

a couple of days ago, i was bored at work, so i decided to conduct an experiment.  during the day, the radio in the lab was playing 106.1 bli, basically long island’s answer to z100 in NYC.  the previous day, i couldn’t help but noticing that some artists were played repeatedly, so i wanted to quantify my paranoia.  i marked down each time i heard a certain performer, including collaborations.  these results are not complete, as i was not listening to the radio at all times, but i was most of the time.  from 7:30 am to 4:15 pm, the following musicians were played, followed by the number of times they were played:

timbaland:  12 (includes many collaborations)
justin timberfuck:  6
daughtry:  6 (note:  5 consecutive plays of the same song)
rhianna:  5
alicia keys:  4
fergie:  4
nickelback:  4 (each more painful than the last)
pink:  4
nelly furtado:  3 (note:  all songs were played within a one hour time span.  that’s just wrong)
chris brown:  3
artists played twice:
maroon 5, carrie underwood, jordin sparks, puff p daddy diddlz, christina aguilera, boys like girls
artists played once:
lumidee (remember her?  neither do i), usher, elliot yamin, killers, gwen stefani, beyonce, all-american rejects, 50 cent, and that asshole that sings "take a look at my girlfriend"

to play those artists so many times during work hours tells me that bli, and even z100, must cater to a lot of people with alzheimer’s.  "god i love this song by pink.  i can’t remember the last time i’ve heard her.  what’s on next?  pink?  i love her!  i hardly ever listen to her!"

if you happen to be skimming through z100, wktu, and wbli on the radio, and they happen to be playing the exact same song at the same time... kill yourself.  judgment day is upon us and you should take your own life before you see children being spanked by donkeys in the street and nsync starts singing together again; you know, what you expect at the apocalypse.

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