1. boston. don't get me wrong, i love sam adams boston lager. in fact, i think its smooth taste and awesome drinkability is the reason why boston lives in an astounding stupor. this isn't a red sox/yankee thing either. they are just big crybabies. remember the aqua teen hunger force light-brites? they shit their pants when that happened, thinking it was a terrorist attack. nyc laid back and didn't think of it twice.
2. britney spears 2001 - present. as soon as she started writing her own music, her life went the way of the sega dreamcast. what kind of lyric is "womanizer woma womanizer your a womanizer oh your a womanizer..." brain... hurting...
3. radio. this is ALL radio. the past decade of radio is the reason why god put steve jobs on this earth to give us the ipod.
4. auto mechanics. by law, they should be hooked up to a lie detector when they tell customers what needs to be fixed and how much it will cost to fix a car.
5. onions.
6. peppers.
7. mushrooms. these 3 have no business being in my philly cheesesteak.
8. the disney channel. the biggest threat to america's children since the japanese tried to infect us with pokemon. (p.s., my top twelve are venusaur, dragonite, mewtwo, gyarados, gengar, exeggutor, golum, rhydon, jolteon, articuno, zapdos, and cloyster)
9. la yogurt. la fucking disgusting.
10. john cena. if anyone has ever been carried as much by every other wrester in the wwe lockeroom and deserved less to be wwe champion than john cena, i'd like to meet him.
11. particleboard. this desk i am typing on is a swift kick away from collapsing on itself, and it deserves it.
12. the facebook newsfeed. pointless and meaningless, like a gov't bailout.
13. speaking of bailouts, american cars. if the american auto industry is so in the shitter, why don't they just make better cars that we'd want to buy? "buy american" means "buy more expensive, buy poor quality". until they get their act together, i think i'm turning japanese, i think i'm turning japanese, i really think so.
14. MTV. it's been 2 1/2 years since i've watched that dreck, and that's 30 months sober. hallelujah!
15. the belt parkway. when people are stuck in traffic there (not if, when), they should just have someone walk up to each car and punch the driver in the face. "that's what you get for being on the belt parkway, you genetic loser"
16. dumb women on TV. these include, but are not limited to, the hideous lipozene lady, nancy grace, the entire cast of "the view" (past and present), and bill o'reilly.
17. upstate pizza. i don't care how expensive it gets to live on long island. as long as the surrounding nyc area has the best pizza in the world, i'm not going anywhere else. screw you, buffalo!
18. quantum physics. it's all theoretical. as far as i can tell, there is no practical application of quantum physics, and i have a freaking physics degree.
19. college dorm guys' bathrooms. no other place would you find an abundance of ramen in the sink, urine in water bottles, pubes on the counter, and the toilets covered in garbage bags from being shat in to the point of breaking.
20. jar jar binks. he single-handedly destroyed the old republic and brought about the evil tyrannical reign of emperor palpatine. may they both burn in the fiery pits of mustafar.
21. philosophy class. hard to find a bigger waste of time than to sit around asking "why" about everything. besides, socrates was a pederast. do you really want to be a lazy guy who moons over young boys? i think not. stop getting philosophical while high, get out, and get a job or the sodomites win.
22. people looking for handouts. if you truly deserve my dollar, do something entertaining. perfect example, penn station, guy on his violin with a drum track playing behind him playing "enjoy the silence" by depesh mode. he wins. charity case? homeless? hungry? get a job. make better decisions with your life.
23. my cell phone messing up my speakers. whenever my cell phone gets to close to the speakers, it sounds like a swarm of bees is ready to flutter in and bring down a blanket of pain. annoying as hell.
24. car warranty phone calls. they don't care if you have a car or not. they'll try to sell you an extended service plan. at that point, you have every right to prank them or curse them out. they brought it on themselves by calling you and wasting your precious minutes. even AT&T rollover minutes are too precious a commodity when these bastards call. tear 'em a new one and just hope they call back so you can get more creative with them next time.
25. random facebook list fads. enough said.
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