News heading
I just read: “Roseanne Barr blames sleep
aid Ambien for racist tweet”. I snorted
laughing when I read that. Just the
concept of a prescription medication that has “racist tendencies on social
media” as a side effect is truly a spectacular notion. Look, everyone’s little bit racist (Avenue Q), but I am having a hard time
making the connection between a sleeping pill and “the Twitter”. I’m glad her show’s cancelled. Fuck her.
I’d be even happier if the show wasn’t cancelled and she was replaced by
that twiggy-thin lady from Ally McBeal.
I used to
like Jimmy Kimmel’s work. By work, I
just mean “Win Ben Stein’s Money” and “The Man Show.” I didn’t pay attention to his late night talk
show stuff (except the “Unnecessary Censorship” spots) until he bitched about
that dentist killing a fake-famous lion.
What a pussy. …Kimmel, not the
dentist or the lion. Now every week I
see a bullshit online news article headline about him and whatever the puppet
masters at Disney and ABC are making him say in order to either purport their
liberal agenda or garner entertainment value by being the counter-discourse
from the current president and bash the conservative agenda (most of the stuff
lately has been about school shootings and gun control). I understand that. It’s fun to make fun of Republicans because
some of them have historically done and said REEEAAALLY stupid shit (that makes for really great
entertainment). However, I don’t like
being bombarded by Kimmel’s expoits on late night TV (that’s not his fault; it
is the fault of whatever service I see news from). So when I read a headline that says he wants
compassion for Roseanne Barr, following another case of a celebrity typing
stuff they shouldn’t on social media instead of keeping it to themselves, I
lament on how sad I would be in his situation.
Not because his liberal fans are criticizing him for trying to support
an outspoken racist who happens to be a fellow comedian, but by how
transparently fake and forced what he is being made to say is. “Roseanne” was on ABC. Kimmel is on ABC. ABC has to save face, make out like the “good
guy”, and not say anything overly mean.
That’s the Disney way.
Time to
switch topics!
I’m always
on the lookout in news stories of anything concerning truly fucking funny signs
of people’s stupidity that could be submitted to the Darwin Awards. I’m not looking to submit them myself,
because chances are that by the time I’ve seen it, other people have submitted
it already. I’d need to pay attention to
local news. Anyhow, the best thing I’ve
seen lately was a man in India who took a selfie with an injured bear. Holy shit, that is a stupid thing to do. At least my kids have the natural animalistic
sense to flee when they see a dog walk up to them. The bear mauled him to death. It was caught on video, and I watched the
whole thing! Morbid? Yes.
Worth it? Absolutely! There were some witnesses who said that he
was killed instantly by the mauling. Bullshit,
not the way I saw it! The acts of wrestling
with the bear and trying to escape took a full minute. He may not have had claws or teeth sunk into
him for that full minute, but that sure was a long time to think about how much
he fucked up. The most surprising thing
to me was that the good folks at the Darwin Awards rejected the story because
they see that kind of thing too much.
It’s too commonplace. Jesus! What else did he have to do? Stick a vuvuzela up the bear’s ass? Put a saddle on it? Dress himself up as a gimp?
I love it when people completely ignore all
common sense. It makes me feel smarter.
