Today's rant: lion

Fuck Cecil the lion. I don't give a shit. I don't care if some dentist paid $50k to hunt a lion. Beats the shit out of paying $50k to kill a human like in "Hostel".

I would love to eat a lion steak, get some food caught in my teeth, then hire that dentist to get the meat unstuck from my teeth. I'd give him a high five.

Whether the fucking cat was killed without a proper permit or not does not change the fact that YOU CAN STILL GET A PERMIT TO HUNT LION. LION HUNTING IS NOT ILLEGAL. And mom, no. The lion was not famous. Unless the cat contributed something to western society, like blowing Newt Gingrich or mauling Sarah Palin, it was not famous.

How sheepish are you motherfuckers who bitch and moan about one lion that you have never heard of before this week and do not even bother condemning all forms of hunting, fishing, and in general all forms of animal food and clothing like the vegans?  They and the animal rights groups, like PETA, are the only ones who have the right to say anything about the big dead cat.  As a comedian, Jimmy Kimmel should be ashamed of himself.

today's rant: emotional issues

for reasons that escape me, i received 170 pages views yesterday.  thanks for taking time out of your life to read my stuff.  time is precious, and i appreciate that.

because time is so precious, i am dumbfounded that people would waste a beautiful saturday standing outside the columbia state house... again... and get worked up about something that has no physical impact on the real world, like taking down that goddamn confederate flag.  is there a thought process that goes into organizing a bunch of shaved, tattooed, grumpy white people to go bitch and moan about something like that?  i am more pissed off at the confederate flag for tugging at people's reactions for taking it down than for its relation to racial issues. 

today's rant: superheroes & bedbugs

the TV show i am currently binging on is "louie".  despite the allegation that he masturbates in front of female comedians, the show is funny as fuck.

i am a fan of the darwin awards.  a couple of months ago, i was fortunate to find a story and submit it for review by the site's moderators.  they thought it was worthy of an honorable mention, as the subject of the story is still alive.  i did a little research on the person in question, and it is quite interesting.  here is some backstory.  apparently, the person suffers from paranoia.  before the darwin incident, he was homeless and living in a rental car he stole from florida.  the bank foreclosed on his home and he maintains a blog and his facebook page using public wifi at stores and libraries.  in his posts, he is adamant that there is a conspiracy covering up the death of his friend, which he classifies as a murder.  now, getting to the darwin incident.  he spent so much time in the stolen rental car that he attracted bed bugs.  according to cops, a friend told him that alcohol would kill the bugs.  so, he doused the fabric of the car seats in rubbing alcohol, sat in the car, and lit up a cigarette.  FOOOSH!  he suffered 1st and 2nd degree burns and destroyed 3 cars, including the rental.  mental situation aside, you have to be a pretty humungo derp-de-derp to think that lighting up a drag was a good idea in that car.

my daughter likes to touch the TV screen and point at things.  i have to remind her "it's not a touch screen.  it's not an iphone."

i think it is very important to read comic books and show superhero cartoons to children.  aside from superpowers, a lot of superheroes are very smart.  please note, i am limiting this list to marvel superheroes as i do not follow any other comic universe.

the incredible hulk:  nuclear physicist
she-hulk:  lawyer
daredevil:  lawyer
iron man:  engineering genius, owns his own company
spider-man:  teacher, owns his own company
mr. fantastic:  scientist, smartest human in the marvel comic universe, though his daughter may surpass him
dr. strange:  neurosurgeon
thor (jane foster):  M.D.
professor x:  geneticist
ant-man:  created his own atomic particles

today's rant: flaggots

in my opinion, the resurgence of the confederate flag issue is pure bullshit.  taking down the confederate flag from the sc state house does not bring 9 people back from the dead.  this act was purely symbolic and emotional, serving no actual physical purpose.

my wife:  "they took it down for the wrong reason."
me:  "they put it UP for the wrong reason."

what i love best is that the skin heads come out to bitch and moan about their bullshit ideology and wave their shit around as if they were in a gay pride parade.  the irony is beautiful.  they are flaggots.

yesterday, i saw two pickup trucks driving around with a flagpole mounted in the bed that had the confederate flag mounted.  look, i am not against individuals displaying whatever flag they want on their private property.  however, at the very least, they need to be able to take all the ridicule that rightfully and justifiably comes hurling their way.  if you like the confederate flag and dislike what you are reading at this point, let me give you an example:  i am a mets fan.  you are a racist.  i can defend my statement to every one of my coworkers in my place of employment.  can you?  take the ridicule, you pussy.

has to be a rough month to be a skin head.  first, state bans on gay marriage are ruled unconstitutional, then the toilet paper that they call a flag is removed from a government building.  the only thing that would put the icing on the cake would be if the rest of the country converted to judaism.  l' chaim!