Well, hi. Been a while. What has happened in the past 2 years?
Oh yeah, Donald Trump is President of the United States. Fucking Christ, people are stupid. If voting citizens has any brains at all, they wouldn't have elected anyone or anything given the choice of candidates. From a purely analytical point of view, there are 2 main differences between Bush Jr and Trump. Firstly, Trump isn't retarted. holy shit, W is retarded. just read his quote a day calendar. trump ain't retarded. he's an asshole. i should know. i'm an asshole. secondly, while both republican presidents and their constituents are total liars, trump and co.'s lies are ridiculously blatant and easily disprovable. it's awesome. i'd be laughing my tits off if the fate of the world wasn't partially in his orange hands.
i wish i thought it was even 1% safe to write about my job here. however, i like electricity and running water in my house
also in the past 2 years, pokemon go became a thing. it's been 1 year and 4 days since i downloaded the app, and i'm still playing it. screw you. i have every right to be caught up in whatever rehashing of 90s pop culture I choose, and holy shit, there is a lot to choose from. let's see what else there is: transformers, ninja turtles, my little pony, someone named clinton ran for president. i'm surprised someone else from nirvana hasn't blown their brains out.
when i have to take my daughter to the bathroom at a family restaurant, especially applebees, she pulls the toilet handle with her foot. why you may ask? because my wife taught her that because she is a germaphobe. she insists, constantly, that the handle is for your foot and not your hand. despite all logical reason, i am unable to convince her otherwise. i am having engineering arguments in the men's room of an applebees with other locals who want nothing more than to take a piss and return to their triple chocolate meltdown, repeatedly proving not only does that the shape of the handle make for maximum effectivity when used in a close hand, but also that if the handle were indeed intended for use with a foot, it would ergonomically make more sense to put a foot pedal ON THE FUCKING FLOOR, WHERE THE FEET ARE NATURALLY! i am not giving my daughter any leeway. in the end, she goes running back to her mother explaining that i am completely wrong because mommy said so. at least i'm not the one lying to my daughter. someone has to be the model for truth, justice, and using the toilet correctly. i'm just the man for the job. i auditioned for it in the sack, and when she popped out, i got the part.
