at our house, we've stopped paying for cable. instead, we've started paying for netflix and hulu. the reason behind the decision is that we discovered we were not really watching a lot of live tv anymore. now we can watch whatever we want whenever we want, except for live sports. however, we don't get NY sports in south carolina, so we'd be fucked anyway.
i've started taking notice of all the kids shows that my daughter watches on both hulu and netflix. since i have to watch her constantly after i get off of work, i have to be in charge of what she watches. the following is a list of shows that she watches, as well as my take on them.
"fraggle rock". words cannot describe how happy it makes me that she likes "fraggle rock" i am 5 years old all over again.
"doozers". this is a hulu-exclusive CGI spin-off of "fraggle rock" that is supposed to teach problem-solving. like many kid shows, some of the things they say are repetitive to the point i want to take a fork and shove it in my ear. i fail to understand their obsession with radishes.
"super why". they go into stories with their "super-duper computer" to find the "super story answer" to their "super big problem". 90% of the time, it is NOT a super big problem. a lost pet is. wondering why your parents are being sneaky on your birthday is not. get your priorities straight. also, for some reason, every time i hear "super-duper computer" and "super story answer", in my head, it sounds like "motherfucking computer" and "motherfucking answer" just because they have the same number of syllables. what really gets me is that they stop everything that they are doing in order to solve the club house to solve the problem. meanwhile, in the time spent away from the problem, chances are people walk away, an animal would die of starvation, wanton destruction would occur, or people would get bored and do something else. seriously, would you wait 20 minutes for the kids to come back and learn their lesson? FUCK NO! YOU'VE GOT SHIT TO DO!
"caillou". FUCK CAILLOU! that little 4-year-old is a fucking little-ass pussy, always complaining like a bitch. "i don't want to". "i want to sleep in your bed". "there's a scratchy monster". if i were that kid's dad, i would shout my head off. "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, YOU LITTLE SHIT! GET THE FUCK TO SLEEP! THAT'S THE SECOND TIME YOU INTERRUPTED ME AND YOUR MOM FUCKING! I CAN'T KEEP A HARD-ON LIKE THIS! IF I CAN'T GET IT BACK UP, I'M KICKING YOUR TEETH OUT!" i must explain the next part before i type it, so my readers understand: i don't use the word "faggot" to describe gay people in any way, shape, or form. that being said, caillou is a little faggot.
"bubble guppies". i can tolerate this show because the theme is catchy.
