so i guess i'm down to one rant a week. i think all my time is going into the a cappella group now. well, here goes.
to the production, programming, and management departments of 106.1 fm wbli, i submit a declaration of grievances against you. while i'm sure you pride yourselves on striving to deliver top notch entertainment to your key demographic, i.e. middle school to college aged males and females, the quality of your entertainment is a few cans short of a six-pack. in fact, it is possible that you are the single driving force that is dumbing down the children, and thus, the future of long island as we know it.
i first started taking severe grievance with your lack of quality these past few weeks. i have published in the past about my attempt to avoid your type of noise pollution. however, i must bring this topic up again because of a fellow coworker and how you have shamed him. at the beginning of a typical work day, if the radio is not already on, he will turn it on and go directly to your frequency. he is a 28 year old father of one, and he's listening... to your programming. this has led me to 2 inferences about him. either he is sadistic and self-castrating, or you have created holes in his formerly fully-functional brain, much like syphilis. in either case, his plight can be directly attributed to you, you sick SOBs.
his downfall i feel has been caused by many factors, starting most obviously by your repeated playlist. do not misunderstand: i understand the popularity of such musicians as justin timberlake and rihanna amongst the little chitlens of long island. however, this does not necessarily mean that you must PLAY EVERY SINGLE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE SONG EVER CREATED DAY IN AND DAY OUT!!! ok, so you claim to play hit music, but the vast majority of your songs are from the same 5 musicians. 6 months ago, it was timbaland, justin, daughtry, rhianna, and fergie. now, it is justin, britney, jordin sparks, rihanna, and leona lewis. is that it? in the past 6 months, have only 3 other musicians released popular hit singles? this may come as news to you, but alicia keys has had at least 2 other singles released since last autumn. have you attempted to play them to see if they are equally as popular as "no one"? no, seriously, have you? any attempt? if you have, i want to know. also, i pose a question to everyone in your offices who broadcast your music, program it, or make the managerial decisions supporting those people: do you ever get tired of hearing the same singer every hour? again, i desire a response from you. you can keep it anonymous, but i just want to know if anyone in your establishment truly wishes the programming would change.
you're programming has not really changed in 6 months. artists have come back and have replaced others on your programming list, but the programming format has not changed whatsoever. apparently, britney spears is your drug of choice nowadays, but she wasn't 6 months ago. this begs the question: who are you repeating all these songs for? i mentioned your demographic earlier, but the issue with them is that the vast majority of your demographic is dreaming away in school about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell (a la "american beauty"). from 9 to 3, they're indisposed. i ask again, who are you repeating your songs for? if you don't understand that others listening to the ear fungus you call your programming have a greater attention span than your usual pop music whore you call your demographic, then you're fucking retarded, as are your advertisers.
this brings me to randy. is he a character? you know how stephen colbert acts like the ignorant conservative on his show as entertainment? how professional wrestlers play to the crowd or rile them with anger as entertainment? similarly, i wonder if randy is in character while he is on the air. i ask this because to be perfectly honest, throughout high school and college, i have never met a gay person that behaves that way in conversation. by "behaves that way", i mean screaming like a human siren. if he is in character, i'm simply amazed you would be stupid enough to consider that entertainment. it's like shoving a tazer in somebody's ear, then yelling in the other ear asking the poor fuck if they're having fun yet. now, the truly scary scenario: if he's not in character. if that's the case, then he needs a psychiatrist right away for a prescription of some sort of horse sedative. by the way he screams, he is either in character or he is autistic; those are the only two possibilities. (now the edgy, politically incorrect joke) i have never truly understood why people commit hate crimes against gay people... until i heard randy on the radio. now i know.
i shall close by saying that you should all be ashamed. go fist yourselves.
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