before i left on my trip to pennsylvania, i was told at work that two women from work who left early to go to JFK airport saw some guy jump down and smash his head on the floor in an apparent suicide attempt. they were sure that he was dead. well guess what, boys and girls? he didn't die! i wonder if those women from work know that yet.
now let the questions ensue. was his flight cancelled? did he get searched randomly just one too many times? why do it at JFK? if you're not familiar with the area, it's not really within walking distance to residential areas. you'd have to walk over a mile on the highway, depending on what terminal you want to jump from. my choice? american airlines. fuck them. i have too much respect for jet blue to want to fuck with their business, but american airlines deserves any shit thrown at them. so anyway, gotta walk on the highway to the terminal, then walk up to the 2nd floor and chose a place to land. all in all, it seems a little to complicated and tiresome. if he really wanted to die, he'd have jumped from the JFK overpass onto the belt parkway. that would've been guaranteed death.
if he decided to park there, now he's gotta pay the parking fee.
he jumped into the food court. why the food court? was it a message?
very interesting: suicide = not funny; failed suicide attempt = hilarious
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