have you ever met anyone that was griping about something so stupid you wanted to smack them in the face? let me tell you about my trip to the post office yesterday.
why is it that no matter what time of day it is, there is always a line long enough to think you're going to spend more time there than the doctor's office? the next time i'm actually AT the doctor's office, i'll just give them my mail and same some time. so while i was on line, and i heard this snooty bitch behind the counter who said "this is the USPS titanic, a slowly sinking ship, with everyone ordering online and paying bills online and emailing." yeah? really? the line is going outside the door and you're complaining about lack of service? are you blind and stupid? i think you tied that hair tie too much. it's cutting off circulation to your brain. even if you're losing business, maybe it's because your post office keeps losing people's credit bills, you keep raising the price of all your services, and you just plain don't deliver on martin luther king day. fuck you.
i now know what a $500 stroller looks like. it was delivered yesterday evening by UPS. the store said it would take two weeks to ship the stroller. it took three days. again, fuck you, post office! originally, we just wanted to pick up the damn thing. the only one the store had in the color we (barbara) wanted was the display model. we asked customer service if we could buy that one. they looked it up in their computer and said that they don't have it in stock in that color and they don't normally stock that color. we said, "yes, you do. it's right there. it's being displayed." they said "oh, that's a return." we said "so what?" they still didn't give it to us. idiots. if we have to cough up hundreds of dollars on a stroller, you better believe we're going to try to get last year's model on display and save at least $100.
i hate the christmas tree shop, buy buy baby, and bed bath & beyond. i don't think it's any coincidence that they are all owned by the same company. my reason for hating them is stupid, but it's the best reason i have. the layout for all three stores is exactly the same. they are giant squares. the customers walk all four sides in a predetermined path, with the final side having the cash registers. the reason i want to kick myself in the nuts every time we go to these stores is that eventually, by the time we reach the registers, there is always some item we forgot or missed and we'll have to walk around the fucking store AT LEAST TWO MORE TIMES TO FIND THE FUCKING THINGS!! you're just walking around, passing the same shit you didn't want to buy the first time, and you start hallucinating that those items are secretly mocking you. the silicone cookware and the cheap, overpriced aluminum storage racks are laughing at you because you have to pass them over and over and over again just because you couldn't find that one kitchen cleaner that's certified to be excrement-free the first time. gentlemen, bring your ipod. if you're making a gift registry at any of these stores, make sure you keep the gun and only walk around once. if you forget something, fuck it. you'll be back in a week anyway because someone forgot to add one "we absolutely need this on the registry" item on your list.
I love you. LOL
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