nobody should feel bad about running over curbs when making sharp turns. in my opinion, curbs are merely suggestions, not guidelines. if they were guidelines, as in "don't fucking drive here", then man wouldn't have invented sidewalks, and we all know how fun they are to drive on. also, if our elected officials really wanted us not to drive on the sidewalk, then all of our houses would be behind those sound barriers like you see on the LIE.
i have a very hard time trusting car mechanics. even if a car mechanic told me that there was a blizzard outside, and i came into his office teeth chattering with my balls falling off from frostbite, i'd still want a second opinion. the only time i voluntarily bring my car in to the shop is when my inspection is due or when i KNOW something is wrong. just last week, i was in evening rush hour traffic about 2 miles from my exit when i noticed my speedometer read 0 and i couldn't get my car out of 1st gear. even to an automotive know-nothing like myself, i knew something was not right. i can't drive my car in 1st gear all the way to work the next morning, fuck no. it might be fun or a while, but the police and ambulances wouldn't think so. i was also taking my car in because my brakes sounded grindy. i know that microsoft word doesn't think "grindy" is a word, but screw it. long story short, he fixed my car in 24 hrs, and now i hear more noises from my wheels. of course, my quick-fix solution to that is just to turn up the volume on my car cd player. problem solved.
i don't know what the fuck hd radio is, but i don't want it. i like being able to watch the jets and giants in nice color and widescreen, despite the fact that it's not necessary. however, radio is something different. maybe it's that just an ear and and eye are two separate things. there is no way that they can guarantee "crystal clear sound" or any of their bullshit gimmicks. the worst is the "hidden hd radio channels" that they try to use to convince you that you need it. they play it off as more of the same radio programming that we've come to know and love. are you fucking kidding me? how would you like it if i put earphones on you (not just regular earphones, the ipod earphones, the ones that hurt), play you the sounds of cattle being mutilated, women and children screaming, and the worst flatulents ever recorded, then asked you if you wanted to hear them again in better sound quality? you're gonna give me more of the same fucking bullshit pop music and unappealing talk shows that i've come to hate, despise, and loath? where do i sign up? (ok, i went a little cuckoo there. you may not ear cattle being mutilated on the radio, but that's the sound that goes to my brain whenever the radio is on in my car)
this morning, my castrated co-worker once again put on WBLI. at 9:20 am, there was another truly psychotic piece of radio advertisement. this stupid bitch and the straight guy on the morning show were supposedly looking on a newspaper's website because they show mugshots of people arrested for DUIs and call it a "wall of shame". he was looking on there to see if anyone he knew was arrested for a DUI. fair enough. the stupid bitch looks on and sees a "disheveled" guy on the website. she said that the disheveled DUI dickhead should have laser hair removal, and then plugs their laser hair removal sponsor. JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRIST!!! if a disheveled guy who is arrested for a DUI can't afford a straight razor to cut his unibrow, what makes you think he can afford laser hair removal?! you honestly want him driving around in a drunken stupor to have some facial pubes burned off? is that what you're selling? fuck the stupid bitch who said it and fuck the WBLI writer who wrote the advertisement.
hell is upon us. at 2:40 pm today, they started playing x-mas music. WALK 97.5, "carol of the bells". no. not yet. it's not halfway through november, and you played x-mas music. at least wait until a reasonable time, like december 4th. a nice even 3 weeks should appease everyone. stop making x-mas earlier and earlier. fuck you and the one-horse open sleigh you rode in on.
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