ok, it's friday. mother's day is in 2 days. like myself, most guys are shit out of creativity when it comes to gifts to our closest females. that is where our friends at WBLI come in. what do they think you should get for your mom for mother's day? that's right, i now present chapter 4 of "laser hair removal and you".
think of it this way: since your mom popped you out, your upkeep has been the majority of her life. she doesn't have time to maintain her legs properly. well, nothing says "i love you, mom" like a gift certificate to get those stubby prickles off her legs and armpits. even if your mom doesn't have hairy legs, get her the gift certificate anyway. it'll say to her "hey mom, i care enough about you to get this because you disgust me in front of my friends." FUCK!
i just fired this email off to them.
"I'd just like to thank you for your advertisement's suggestion of laser hair removal to give my mom for Mother's Day. It has worked wonders on our troubled relationship. She hasn't spoken a word to me in two years, but when I told her that I thought her legs were hairier than Chewbacca, she really opened up to me.
I thought that telling my girlfriend to get a laser breast lift, as your advertisement's suggested last Valentine's Day, couldn't be topped. Boy howdy, I was wrong.
May I make a suggestion for the future? How about for Father's Day, you run a similar laser hair removal advertisement for the dads on Long Island. I know my dad's pubes are metaphorical forest, so taking a red hot laser to his diddle zone should make him the happiest dad on LI.
Until then, F yourselves."
vote for adam lambert
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