today's rant: what i've learned in 2009, orignally 12/29/09

in 2009, i learned that beyonce had one of the best videos of all time (thanks, kanye).
i learned that glen beck can't spell "oligarchy".
i learned that people don't know that michael jackson is actually dead.  people refuse to watch the news.  they just keep playing his music even more.  when people ask them to turn the volume down, they just put their fingers in their ears and go "la la la la la la la la i can't hear you la la la la la la la la la."
i've learned never to ask a sports stadium to post a message on their giant TVs ever again, because they just won't do it.  they're too stupid to figure it out.
i learned that my company is not afraid to fire someone on christmas.
i learned what a 401(k) is.
i learned that i will never again be able to see any more billy mays infomercial spoofs.  fuck!  at least there are still plenty of snuggie spoofs.
i learned that the biggest hit that rihanna had this year did not occur in the recording studio.
i learned what swine flu was.  i also learned what a balloon boy was.  hopefully the two can mesh together and take out that entire balloon family.  that's a show i'd watch, kid.