i just saw a commercial for a perfume by x-tina aguilera called "inspire". first and foremost, thank you christina for thinking of a fragrance name that's not trashy. as a guy, i hate walking into work and telling people "yeah, that smell is 'guy crotch' by calvin klein." in all seriousness, my fragrance would be "hickory smoke BBQ", sounds so sexy. so this commercial got me thinking, what messages are other celebrities sending with their fragrances? let's get started!
- robin williams, "wookiee", for the tree-dwelling, hairy-armed son of a bitch in all of us
- the sarah palin special, "hockey sweat". we know how much hockey gets her off. now you can experience that as well
- this is actually a mouthwash more than a fragrance. justin timberlake, "timbaland's asshole", because of how much he kisses it every time he's in the recording studio.
- amy whinehouse, ....aw, fuck it. there's no fragrance here. we all know what the only thing going up her nose is.
- either presidential candidate can have a fragrance called "victory" if they win, but depending on who does win, it'll either smell like a chicago-style pizza or a cactus
- the TomCat fragrance, "lord xenu repellant", is actually a mix of kitten blood and vinegar
- miley cyrus has two possible fragrance names. the first one is "amber alert", but i'm leaning more towards the 2nd one, "megan's law"
- nancy grace has a rather long fragrance name, "self-righteous vicious cunt-bag". everyone should probably know that her vagina has razor-sharp teeth to bite down anything alive and moving that may come in or go out.
- saving the best for last: paris hilton, "cum rag".
this is a class-participation exercise, so please feel free to add your own.
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