talk about the ultimate flip-flopper. he's such a flip-flopper, he's half-price at payless shoes. i'm referring to idaho senator larry craig, the senator who was arrested at a minnesota airport for soliciting a cop in a bathroom stall. i've heard the audio of his arrest and him trying to talk his way out of it. he admits to possibly accidentally moving his foot close to the cop's foot while they were in their respective bathroom stalls. first thing's first: don't admit anything, you dumb fuck. you're a senator, you should know that more than anyone. next thing: have your lawyer there. you're only reassurance that you did nothing wrong cannot be simply stating "i'm not gay".
i've never used an airport bathroom, but i assume that there are many stalls available because there have to be thousands of people going through the airport everyday. going into that stall next to the cop, he broke one of the fundamental rules about being a guy: he used the urinal/stall directly next to someone else. any guy will tell you this. if a bathroom has 5 urinals, your only choices are the 1st, 3rd, and 5th ones. in mathematical terms, if a bathroom has n urinals, and n is odd, then you can only use the nth - 2x urinal (x is an integer greater than 0 but less than n/2). this applies unless absolutely nobody else is in there. then, you're free to go buckwild and shit all over the place. being that senator craig broke this fundamental rule, it clearly shows that his intentions were not solely of a pissing or shitting nature.
like the fucking idiot we all know most politicians are, he plead guilty. then he came out publically and said that he shouldn't have plead guilty. why? because he said he wasn't gay. i'd say someone's confused in more way than one. now, someone please explain to me why he felt the need to resign from his position. this brings up former NJ governor jim mcgreevy. the only difference is that he admitted he was gay. he's already one step ahead of craig, but does it really justify quitting? i never understood it with mcgreevy and i don't understand it now. however, thank god that i don't have to understand it anymore, because now craig is reconsidering resigning. i will tell you right now exactly what he will say: "i did nothing wrong" and "i am not gay".
first he reconsiders pleading guilty, then he reconsiders resigning. jesus christ, i'd hate to be his waiter/waitress at a resturaunt. "i'll have the steak please." five minutes later, "oh, excuse me, but i'd like to change my order. i'd rather have the halibut." 10 minutes later, "oh, pardon me, but could you change my order to the roast duck? is that too much trouble?" someone get that man to a chinese buffet where he can choke down all the crab legs and god-awful sushi he can.
still on the job hunt. let's go mets.
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