i watched about 3 minutes of the show "are you smarter than a 5th grader". at three minutes and one second, i came to realize how horrible of a show it is. the woman i saw playing had two consecutive wrong guesses. firstly, she thought that north america was in the eastern hemisphere. what that tells me is that 1) she doesn't know the difference between east and west, 2) she has never heard of the expressions "far east" or "western civilization", or 3) she has never read a world map before in her life. the next question was some math: if y = 3x and 3x = 12, y = ? i'm gonna repeat it so it runs through your head a few times. y is 3x. 3x is 12. y is 3x. 3x is 12. y is 3x. 3x is 12. y is 3x. 3x is 12. what is y? if you are even remotely thinking of the number 4, stop right now and punch yourself. 4 is x. i don't give a flying fuck about x. i didn't ask you what x was. x doesn't belong anywhere. what is y, you son of a bitch?! jeff foxworthy should be ashamed of himself... even more so than usual.
it makes me feel so proud to be an american, especially around independence day, to know that mental retardation is so highly regarded and praised on tv. how does fox find those contestants? i'll tell you this much: if i tried out for that show and the producers found out that i graduated high school, they would kick me out on the street faster than lindsay lohan on a drinking binge. you don't even need to know how to spell to be in the 5th grade. at least to get on "wheel of fortune", you have to know how to spell. contestants on AYSTAFG are "wheel of fortune" contestant rejects. if you can't sit at dinner with the rest of the family and play along with "wheel of fortune", you shouldn't be at the dinner table. you should be sitting with the dog outside in the rain.
i move in to my new apartment in a little more than a week. fuck you, james, i'm moving out!
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