why does david wright always wear the same orange shirt underneath his mets uniform?
i'm almost afraid that i'm running out of things to bitch and moan about. fuck, i've repeated topics occasionally, like MTV, wrestling, and my drive to work. can you blame me? it's not like i have any time to sit down and think this shit up. so what do i do? i try to find new things that piss me off about the same ol' topics. works occasionally, but not often enough.
my futon was finally delivered last saturday. if you live in the sayville/bohemia area of long island, i beg you not to buy your furniture where i did, empress furniture. you're better off sharing a cardboard box with a homeless person. i've been living in my apartment for about 3 and a half weeks, but i went to them the 2nd day i moved in. i picked out a futon that looked half decent and a mattress cover that complimented the carpet because i'm gay like that. i chose a futon over a couch because 1) i'm cheap, 2) i like the "just started living on my own" motif, and 3) if i have a friend crash at my place, i got another bed. plus, if i want to pass out in front of the computer, i got a comfy place to lay nearby. since i had to put the thing together, you'd think that all the furniture store had to do is get it from their warehouse and bring it over here. apparently, that takes 2 weeks longer that the day that is agreed upon. when i walked into the store to order it, they said that they had one in the back of the place and that they could deliver it whenever that week. the day before i was first expecting it, which was a saturday, i got a call that it wouldn't be delivered for another week because they didn't have it. so they went from having it to not having it. either time went backwards or they're lying sacks of shit. believe me, if time went backwards, i'd like them to tell me how they did it. but not so. turns out they are burlap sacks of shit with a tick for lying.
one week later, i called them up and asked them what time they would deliver the futon. they left me on hold for 10 minutes. the main thing that went through my mind as i was sitting down waiting for them was "god, i could've taken a shit by now and still have time to wash my hands." they told me that they had the futon frame, but not the mattress. they then followed up by saying "we'll call you next week. ok. no problem" and hung up. no problem? i spent most of the day waiting for your call and i had to call you. don't you like me anymore? was all the time we spend together just so you could get in my pants? you bitch!
so, like a bad boyfriend, they never called. i had to visit their place of business. the guy told me "yeah, we just took it off the truck. we'll deliver it tomorrow." they did, and it was the wrong futon. it's not the model i ordered. you'd think that the delivery guy and the 15 year old prepubescent little shit would have something better to do in the past 2 weeks, like for instance, get the right fucking futon. good thing they forgot to charge me for delivery. i'm so pissed off, i'm this close to destroying their wacky-waving-inflatible-arm-flailing-tube-man. either that, or painting it to look like a giant inflatable penis, veins and all.
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