if there was ever a day for a met fan to develop a serious drinking problem, this is that day. now i can't wear my mets hat for another 6 months. my high school english teacher probably blew a gasket today at around 1:30 pm eastern standard time, at which time the first inning wasn't even half over and the deal was sealed for the mets. mac, wherever you are, have a guinness and relax for a bit.
i wonder what all the newspapers are going to call the utter destruction i witnessed today. i'm gonna put mine out there: coriolis effect. that is the phenomenon caused by the rotation of the earth that makes the water in a toilet swirl around and around until it is finally flushed. that's my metaphor for the first inning, take it or leave it. come up with your own and be creative.
now to devote my attention to the giants. i know that they're not going to make it to the superbowl, but as long as they don't have another horrible 4 and 12 season like they did a few years ago, i'll watch. tiki, we miss you.
moving away from sports... how the fuck do you shoot guns at buddhist monks?! "hey you! stop being so goddamn peaceful!!!" here's my solution to most of the world's problems: have a referendum. if you live in a country that's in serious turmoil, vote whether you're happy for not. have one of those elections like iraq had where you put ink on your finger to show that you voted. of course, the results of the vote are pointless. all that matters is that people voted. take everyone with ink on their fingers, smuggle them out of the country with whatever possessions they want, and leave everyone who didn't vote behind. move everyone that voted to alaska. why alaska? it's fucking huge and they can work drilling our oil reserves. then, all that's left for everyone left behind is just three words. those words are "nuclear fucking holocaust". that's what we should've done in iraq and afghanistan, and that's what we should do with myanmar. when the radioactive dust settles, they'll be on the road back to reconstruction and economic prosperity. just look at japan. btw japan, you're welcome, and i love all my kickass electronics. keep up the good work.
do i really have to reiterate that most of what i write is utter bullshit?
any semi-pro (non-collegiate) acapella groups on LI? don't want to commute to NYC and not into barbershop.
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