today, i'm expecting the rest of my furniture to be delivered today from ikea. just to clarify, ikea is not delivering the furniture. they're too good to buy trucks and deliver furniture themselves. why would they want to spend money on that when they could subcontract another company and make some money off of the delivery charge when they're not doing the delivering? fucking genius, you assholes! how would you feel if you ordered a pizza and the pizza place paid some homeless guy to deliver it to you while hiking up the delivery charge at the same time? anyshit, i'm expecting a bookcase, a kitchen table, and four kitchen chairs. i need the bookshelf because i have a pile of shit just thrown together in the corner of my living room. it has sat there so long, it's starting to develop a consciousness. i'm mostly excited about my kitchen table and chairs because for the past month and a half, i've been eating dinner in my living room off of my summerslam 2002 commemorative folding chair. speaking of wrestling, this year is a new low for vince mcmahon. first his feud with donald trump (granted he donated money to charity, but it was a whorish move), then his reign as ECW champion, then his apparent murder, and now his illegitimate son. the only other person in america that loves to hear himself talk more is sitting in the oval office masturbating himself to oblivion. oh come on, don't be shocked. you know that it must have crossed his mind at some point. where was i? oh yeah, i can now eat in the kitchen. hazah!
the downside to getting cheaper furniture is that i have to put it together myself. now, the history between me and particleboard is not a pleasant one when it comes to furniture construction. in fact, the desk i'm typing at now had an altercation with myself while i was putting it together. needless to say, i won the battle and the desk was left crippled. how it is even standing right now is beyond me. hopefully, it won't make me have to bitch slap it next time.
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