closing arguments in the civil case of diane woodruff vs. ryu/ken dojo for street fighting:
council for the defense:
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, put simply, all this case concerns is that one unhappy mother was dissatisfied with the service that my clients provided at their establishment. unfortunately, it has been taken over the edge by turning it into a civil suit, and there is no justification for it.
what typically happens when a service is disputed between consumer and the business? the consumer gets his money back. my clients offered to refund 100% of the fighting lesson fees. however, that wasn't good enough for the plaintiff. she seeks damages totaling 10 million arcade tokens, and for what? was her son injured? no. was her son abused? no. was her son mistreated in any way? none whatsoever. the plaintiff's claim that my clients brainwashed him and made him into a destructive nuisance to everyone around him is ludicrous. if anything, her son misused the lessons and discipline taught by my clients, and that is in no way their fault. it's most likely the fault of the defendant herself for being a neglectful mother letting her play so much video games.
the media coverage by this case has hurt the reputation of my client's dojo. they can no longer sustain their business because of the mud smearing that the plaintiff has done over the past few months to the news broadcasters. once, they were able to teach young students how to shoot fireballs at masked, spanish cage fighters, uppercut green brazilian mutants, and hurricane kick evil thai overlords. they can no longer do that, and we are seeking libel damages for the business lost to their establishment.
when you are deliberating, ask yourself if the damages that the plaintiff is seeking is really supported by the facts at hand. the answer should be a resounding "no". thank you.
council for the plaintiff:
this case goes beyond a simple disagreement between proprietor and consumer. the gross negligence of the defendants have warped the mind of my client's son. his grades had been steadily declining in school, and he picked fights on a daily basis before being expelled from his school district for shooting a fireball at the school mascot. who taught him how to do that? the two defendants, no one else.
you saw my client's child for yourself. for heaven's sake, the first day he came in to testify, he hurricane kicked the court room doors off their hinges. and you saw how unresponsive he was when he was asked questions. he was only able to say three things: hadoken, shoryuken, and something ridiculous that i can't even pronounce. even the court reporter couldn't type it down on record.
who knows how many children that the defendants have damaged with their reckless behavior. that is why we are seeking punitive damages totaling 10 million arcade tokens, so that they are unable to corrupt any more impressionable youths. ask yourself this when you are deliberating: would you want these men teaching your child? i think not. thank you and enjoy your lunch.
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