vince mcmahon is a fucking idiot (for those of you who don't know who he is, he owns WWE, or WWF for those who haven't been watching for the past 4 years). in retrospect, he has spent the past year digging a bigger and bigger shithole for his company. he can't wipe the dead skin off his wrinkly body without dropping a piece of bullshit. the reappearance of DX? the return of ECW? the spirit squad? kevin federline? FUCK!
DX now is not the same as DX back in '97. no fucking way. then again, i don't expect it to be when you have a born again christian and the son-in-law of vince mcmahon trying to live up to the antics that they used to do. however, i don't blame them. HBK is born again, and that's fine with me. i understand why he doesn't do his old stuff anymore. HHH is a dad now and his wife is always watching backstage, fine. i blame vince for not thinking of anything better for them to do. all he is good for is starting rivalries that end in his eventual ass kicking. even though it's fake, it's still the only reason to watch him on TV. other than that, he has no business on TV whatsoever.
ECW, for those of you unfamiliar, stands of "extreme championship wrestling". ideally, all matches are "extreme rules", meaning weapons galore and no disqualifications. why then has there be none in the past 5 weeks besides the elimination chamber? why are there matches that end in disqualifications? how can a no-DQ contest have DQs? what's the point? aaah!...brain melting... their last PPV "december to dismember" was so fucking god awful. the only good match was the tag team match at the beginning of the show. after that, it was one giant pile of shit after another, leading up to the shortest elimination chamber match ever. how can you advertise a weapons-filled cage when you only use 2 weapons? there was a barb-wire wrapped baseball bat that wasn't used at all. it was one of 4 weapons in the entire match, and it wasn't used. come on, use it for something! wipe your ass with it for all i care, just show me a trickle of blood. the last great ECW match was the first hardcore match between RVD and Bob "Hardcore" Holly. fuckin A. and guess what? mcmahon hated it. they both got a standing ovation, and mcmahon thought it was a piece of shit. this helps prove that he has no fucking clue what wrestling fans want. the only smart thing that vince mcmahon has done for ECW was to put CM Punk on the show. at least he knew that when ECW went out of business a few years back, a lot of the fans became ROH fans (ring of honor), where Punk got a lot of his noteriety. they better use him well, or they'll be throwing away another good talent.
john cena. holy fuck. in case you've been living with your head up your ass for the past 2 years, you've noticed that every single one of his matches ends exactly the same. i can give you the rundown right now. shoulder block, clothesline, clothesline, protoplex, 5-knuckle shuffle, pumping of his shoes, FU/STFU. that's pretty much all he does besides that fucked-up fisherman suplex and that new, horrific belly-2-belly suplex. honestly, look back at his old matches. he has been carried by everyone he has stepped into the ring with. i saw his wrestlmania 22 match just now, and his contribution was pathetic. i know that wrestling is fake, but he did absolutely nothing to make the match worth seeing. it was all HHH with the standard cena finish. why is he still champion? because the kids buy his merchandise and they are dumb enough not to see how pathetic he is. he's like an athlete at the special olympics. everyone cheers for him except for those who realize that there's nothing to cheer about. the vast majority of their live audience cheered both times he lost his title and booed when he won at wrestlemania. that's a sign, fucktard.
so they brought back the hardy boyz, thank god, and now their being separated again. yet another stupid move by vinnie mac. for the love of god, they helped reinvent tag team wrestling from '99-2001. the fans want them, but you're too dumb to realize it.
it's a shame that TNA is only on 1 hour a week because they've got some real talent. my only complaint is their new voodoo kin mafia bullshit they're pulling. they can get ratings without having to stoop to that WCW mentality. the wrestlers are better than that. that aside, vince mcmahon should take notes as to how to run his matches. he can definately learn something. for example, AMW vs. AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels (their first match), that is what tag team wrestling should be. i haven't seen anything like that since hart foundation vs. demolition back in the late 80s.
if you're a wrestling fan, and you want a nice experience, go to the indy shows. ROH rolls through here a couple times a year, and i haven't been disappointed yet. why would i be? 3.5 - 4 hour show for $25? walking distance to 2 bars? can't go wrong. plus, you run into the wrestlers in the halls outside the ring. i never knew that i was taller than some of those guys. at first glance, they don't seem that tough. then you see them in the ring, and their flying around like motherfuckers on speed.
happy 2007. hopefully, you're not/weren't in times square this year. i just don't see the need to stand in the same place for 12 hours straight. pay close attention to dick clark. if you look close enough, you can see the strings controlling his arms, maybe even see the shadows of the marionettes. remember, you have 2 weeks to get me a birthday present. if you don't, i'm gonna pull a stephen colbert and put you on notice.
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