a portion of the movie "Back to the Future: Part 2" was set in the year 2015. being 9 years away, we have a lot of catching up to do. first thing's first: we're no where close to having a flying car. even if the technology comes along in the next few years, there is no way in fuck i am spending "only thirty nine, nine ninety-nine, ninety-five" to make my dodge status fly around. fuck you, goldie wilson the 3rd! that's right, "i drive a dodge stratus!" - will ferrell
next thing: power shoe laces. we as a people are lazy to the point where we control our car radios with buttons on the steering wheel. that is not good enough. i'm disappointed that we even have to keep pressing buttons on a remote control in order to change the channel on TV. however, what pisses me off the most is that i still have to tie my own shoes. at the country's current rate of laziness, now is the perfect time to invest in power laces.
big-ass flat screen tv that can play 6 channels at the same time: we're halfway there. 103 inch flatscreen tv, but only 2 channels at the same time.
dehydrated pizza: not yet, but i'll fuck a monkey's uncle if it's gonna be pizza hut.
debit thumb print: using your thumb to pay for shit. why not go further? blood sample to pay for stuff. while we're at it, might as well invest in anemia medicine.
one thing i don't like about the future: no internet. how else am i supposed to write this bullshit?
vote for slapdash graduate on nbc's "star tomorrow"! get 'em to the next round!
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