so i was doing a little x-mas shopping yesterfuck and went to compUSA at roosevelt field mall. oddly enough, there was hardly anyone there. i was a little flabberghasted (spelling?) because over the weekend i saw videos on the internet and TV of people walking into stores and pushing each other over to get shit. i'm not talking about accidental shoving. there were literally people standing off to the sides of the store doors pushing people to the ground as they walked past. they did this as if to say "kiss the ground, you midnight shopping whore! get a chiropractor because your back is about to get a mudhole stomped in it."
anyway, in order to get to compUSA, i had to pass a movie theater sign. roosevelt field has two big fucking signs for movie listings: one in the front and one in the back. i went through the back entrance. no, there is no freudian slip. compUSA is in the back of roosevelt field, and that's why i had to use the rear entrance, so fuck you, you pervert! so as i was driving by the movie sign, i read to see what movies were playing since i haven't seen "borat" or "casino royale" yet. when i read the sign, the sign said "look up our movies at moviefone.com for when they are showed". first thing that goes through any sane person's mind is "why?" there are a few reasons to ask why. for one, why build the fucking sign if you're not gonna tell me what movies are playing? for that matter, why build two signs that don't say what movies are playing? why are you going to force me to go home and look online to find out what movies are playing when you can tell me RIGHT FUCKING NOW?!?! that's like going to an LIRR ticket station and looking up the schedule of when the train is coming, but there's a sign that says "go home and find out the train schedule for yourself, asshole. we're not gonna tell you. we're gonna make you drive all the way back home and waste time finding out what time the train is coming. then you're gonna realize that in the time it took to go back home, you missed your train. tough shit." why even bother wasting the letters on the sign to tell me to go home to find out what's playing? why don't you use that time wisely and try to figure out a way for me not to pay $10 a fucking ticket and $6 a soda?
i think they need to come out with a new megaman game soon. not any of the ones like x4, x5, and x6. they need to make them like x3 and back. those fucking rocked. it's awesome watching that little blue fuck turn into a powerhouse of fucked up weapons flying around around like he's on ecstasy. on a side note, has anyone realized that megaman is a blatant ripoff of iron man? the different weapons, the different color armor? anyone? also, what if megaman and samus aran had a kid?
back to the topic. the awesome thing about megaman was that his enemies had the most fucked up weapons. it must be hard for the makers of the game to keep thinking up new weapons because everything has been done already. that, and every animal bad guy had been thought of. the corny thing is that they follow the same format: "weapon"-man or "weapon"-"animal", like gutsman or wire sponge. yes, wire sponge is the name of a megaman bad guy. i don't know what they were thinking when they came up with that one. despite the fact that every good weapon and animal has been thought of already, i've compiled a list of new enemies for megaman to face:
Spam Worm, who attacks megaman with pop-up adds and spyware
Glue Horse, who melts his own hooves down to get megaman in a very sticky situation
Fart Skunk, whose odors can even affect robots
Bong Monkey, just because they two sound funny when put together
Rabies Racoon, because there always has to be a bad guy with alliteration in his name
that's it. i'm starting to stink, so i'm gonna take a shower.
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