i have the perfect idea to increase voter turnout among college students: the election day drinking game! the rules would change between mid-term elections and presidential elections, but the idea remains the same. there are no set rules as of yet, so if you wish to use this idea, you can mold it to your liking. i believe, however, that there should be some ground rules.
take a drink if:
- the candidate you voted for wins
- the district you're from is mentioned on the local news for local elections
- the winning presidential candidate won in your state
take two drinks if:
- the candidate you voted for loses
- the losing presidential candidate won in your state
- you argue with the TV
- you argue with someone over abortion/stem cells/gay marriage/the war in iraq
take a shot if:
- "the daily show" or "the colbert report" mentions your state during the election results
- you voted for any candidate not in your political party (one shot per candidate)
- your party lost most local elections
- your party lost any house in congress
piss on the TV if:
- the candidate for governor/president that you voted for loses the election
- any candidate supported by GWB wins an election
these are not set in stone. change them as you see fit.
if anyone calls you regarding someone's election campaign or taking a survey of who you're voting for, tell them that you're voting for the opposing candidate. when they ask why, reply:
"because my candidate doesn't hate our troops like yours does"
or "because my candidate isn't pro-death" if the candidate is democrat
or...
"because if they get rid of all the immigrants, who else will i kidnap so my friends can bet on who will win a fight to the death?"
or "because my asshole clenches when i picture his/her face" if the candidate is republican.
it's been a terribly long time since i've seen a good debate. the last good debate i saw was where chris rock was tearing ass in "head of state". i'm still getting over the 2004 pres debate. i actually sat through it with my fellow residents back when i lived on campus. the common discussion we had after every question was "you notice that they didn't answer the question at all?" with new york's elections coming up, i'm glad i missed a large part of the attourney general debate. all i know about it was one of the candidates said "you do the job" as a response to numerous questions. i'm sure it makes perfect sense to him, but unfortunately, i can't read his thoughts.
the thing is politicians hire a shitload of people to think of shit for them to say. i'm not even being sarcastic. they actually hire people to come up with shit to say. the candidate has an idea to say, then the hired help smacks them in the face and says "no. wrong. try again." this is the reason why debates get royally fucked up and planned political speeches go off without a hitch, because the wrinkly scrinkly old white guy can't think of shit to say on his own. i bet al sharpton can tear ass if he debated with bush or kerry.
this is one of those "pulled out of my ass" rants, but i still think the drinking game is a good idea. high c's are back in business. since i'm in the voting spirit...VOTE FOR SLAPDASH GRADUATE! get 'em to round 3 of star tomorrow on the nbc website.
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