today's rant: spam email, my old job, originally 8/10/06

why is it that everytime i check my email in the morning, i win another UK lottery?  and why does the attached picture of a check say "Michigan Lottery" in the background?  if you get an email like this, or from those shit-sniffing Nigerians or fake paypal/ebay sites, all you have to read is "dear winner", "dear beloved", or "dear customer" before you come to a very simplistic conclusion:  "No".  if they take the time to find out your email address, but don't take the time to learn your name, find them and skull fuck the shit out of them.  what disappoints me the most is that i expect the UK lottery...as in the lottery from the UK, where English was invented...to have the courtesy to use the mechanics of standard English correctly.  i know exactly who the UK lottery is:  it's a poor fuck living in south america who spends his free time getting STDS from cheap hookers and jacking off to pictures of hitler getting shit thrown at him by a nun.

i'm starting to feel the effects of my work schedule taking a toll on me.  my sleep schedule is way off.  despite this, it's way better than my old entertainment company job.  i do not miss my boss' brother.  he is the biggest asshole in the world, literally.  he is a 350 lb. giant sphincter that stinks of weed and cigars and has threatened to have me fired and has fallen asleep on the job.  i do not miss the bratty kids and their scrotum sucking parents.  cursing, yelling, throwing stuff at me, complaining to the party organizers...and that's just the parents.  the kids do it twice as often, but the parents do it twice as fierce.  i'd like to know if anyone else has ever been told "you're acting like a real cunt" on the job.  yes, i've been called a cunt.  i've never been called a cunt in my life until a dad, on the verge of a heart attack, wouldn't accept the fact that his kid arrived too late.

most of all, i do not miss the "cha cha" song.  you know exactly that i'm talking about.  "slide to the left!  slide to the right!  FREEZE!  everybody, clap your hands!" *clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*
*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*clap*
whoever invented that song should have his balls waxed with fly paper.