i live in a ripple of space and time, and it is called port jefferson. i'm not even sure i can call it that, despite the fact that it's on all my mail. i live literally 3 blocks away from the border of port jeff and port jeff station. nature's laws seem to be skewed where i am. it's as if whenever i take a piss, the toilet flushes clockwise. that may seem meaningless to you, but as a physics major, that scares the fuck out of me!
first thing's first: the weather. when you see the weather, you're supposed to get the highs and lows of the day. the concept is ok because it preps you for what to expect midday. woohoo! the problem in port jeff is that when i look at the current temperature, sometimes it is lower than the low temperature. how the fuck can the range be 36-48 and the temp be 34? there's something wrong with that! i don't want to have to go outside and think "i wonder if there's gonna be...fuck it's 34!! fucking 2-degree difference! damn you, weather channel!"
next: my cell phone. the entire house that i live in has it's own cell phone dead spots, and i live in one of them. i have to leave my cell phone by my window in order to get 2 bars. when my phone rings, fuck it. can't hear a thing. i might as well be deaf and try sign language through my phone. i have to go outside and find this one spot on the corner of the patio to manage 4 bars. speaking of which, no one should be calling me when it starts snowing. i will kick your ass. no where else do i have this problem, but fuck it. the rent is cheap.
i wonder when the hell i can go back to taco bell. i miss the stomach aches in the morning.
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