i think there are only two reasons why taco bell is still in business: 1) they're cheap as fuck, 2) they keep coming out with new combinations of the same 4 foods. the two most recent additions to the taco bell arsenal are the crunchwrap supreme and the nacho crunch grilled stuffed burrito, but the formula is still the same: meat, tortilla, veggies, and cheese. using those four basic components, they've made a salad, a pizza, and taco hybrids (chalupas, gorditas). i'm waiting for them to come out with a taco burger or some perverted form of chicken parmigana. in any case, it doesn't matter what you order; you're gonna shit a storm soon after you eat anything on their menu.
years ago, there was a taco bell commercial where the drive thru guy's name was scott. i don't know what they're trying to pull. there is no person named scott that works within a 500 foot radius of any taco bell. scott is the name of the CEO's 16-year-old bratty son who has never even seen a taco bell before in his life. he eats lunch every day at taco king under the guise of a typical high school student chatting on his virgin mobile phone and listening to fallout boy on his new ipod. if his CEO father knew where scott was on weekdays during his lunch, fire sauce would spew from his eyes and ears and he would blacklist scott from any job in the future, even taco bell drive thru.
taco bell also needs to stop showing the commercials of steak and chicken products. they always have someone slicing steak on a cutting board or pulling marinated chicken from a pot filled with a spicy marinade. THIS IS A LIE!! the steak and chicken are stored in plastic bags pre-sliced with grill marks on them. this coming from the same company that stores its sour cream in an aerosol can. and the ironic thing is despite all these lies, we continute to eat from there. why? because it's fucking delicious, that's why!
on a final note about taco bell: if you are ever in new hyde park LI, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER eat at their taco bell. my grandmother said it best, "they are not hired for their intelligence". they once gave me tacos with no meat. no meat. no fucking meat.
on a completely unrelated topic, i came to a startling realization recently about pop music in the late 90's and early 00's. i always knew the music sucked, but i never knew why. i'd see the popular girls wearing the nsync shirts and coming in to school with new merch after a concert they'd go to, but i never made the connection between the two with respect to the music involved. i already knew that they only went to the concerts because of their jail bait fantasies of getting finger-cuffed by justin and j.c., but the musical aspect alluded me. true fact: they used to carry around "the story", which was an ever-changing fictional book about them and the members of nsync. they claimed that one day, they'd send it to them. each day, they'd trade it between themselves to write new blurbs and whatnots. again, i'd see all this, and wonder how the music could be so shitty crappy farty poopy and still be marketable. then it hit me and i felt like a dee dee dee for not seeing it earlier. they are all exactly the same exact song and follow the same formula:
intro
verse 1
chorus
verse 2 (verse 1 clone)
chorus with some adlibing
bridge (same chords as the chorus)
chorus/bridge hybrid
end
the key is the bridge --> chorus/bridge hybrid. that's the defining characteristic. jesus christ, that's so simple. i bet i can produce the next backstreet or nsync album. what the fuck was i thinking not being able to see this?
anyshit, i got the day off and i move to port jeff on sunday, yaaaay! "until next time, take care of yourself and each other" -- jerry springer
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