do not misread the title. it's not "dick in a box" like the SNL skit, it's "dick on the bus". my school's commuter parking lot is such that it is a good half-mile away from the main campus. therefore, about every 10 minutes, a bus comes to pick people up from the parking lot to be taken to the center of campus. i've come to notice in the mornings that usually, buses are waiting for people. i find that convenient except for the fact that there are already people seated on the bus. this means that i will occasionally arrive in the parking lot with the bus nearly full. this was the case today.
there were only a few seats left, so i made the mistake of sitting next to this prick. he decided to take up about 75% of the bench seat by spreading his legs out. don't get me wrong. i understand the needs for guys to sit with their legs apart. i do it too. women have the advantage of being able to sit comfortably with their legs closed (or so i assume). they don't have anything in the way. when guys put their legs together, it gets very uncomfortable. there's very little room to breathe. things get stuck. it's not a pretty picture. but this douche bag had his ass right in the middle of the seat, legs spread out like he was giving the back of the bench in front of him a personal show. sitting there assessing the situation, i decided "you know what? i'm gonna fuck with this guy."
keep in mind, he's just staring out of the window into oblivion listening to his ipod, not giving a shit about my seating situation. after a while of my right ass cheek hanging off of the seat, i decide to scoot closer to him in the seat. you better believe that when the bus was turning, and the force of the turn pushed me closer to him, i leaned into him a little bit more than i had to. i was already uncomfortable in the seat, and if i had to endure a bit more by sliding my ass against his just to make him uncomfortable too, by god, i'm gonna do it. every time the bus turned right, i made sure to let him know "hey, you brought this on yourself. you were asking for ass-to-ass contact" by nudging closer and closer to him.
childish? probably. gay? just a bit. worth it? oh yeah. in summation, please be courteous to your fellow bus riders. don't be a dick.
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