rush hour traffic. car accidents are eventual, can't help it (hey, a haiku!). however, there is no need to slow down and look at one unless there is something worth looking at or you have to get out of the way of the cars involved in the crash. the only reasons to look at one is if the cars are really fucked up, there is an ambulance, or there's a fire truck. otherwise, don't fuckin look. why bother? do you like to see people standing outside their cars talking to each other waiting and to the cop on the scene? no? me neither, so fucking move it!
people who have the tendency to look at car accidents for no good reason have a neurological disorder that i call "cheney neck". this disorder is categorized by the uncontrollable habit of people lifting their heads and looking to their right when their heads should remain straight ahead with their eyes on the road. i call it "cheney neck" because it is the only reason i can think of that would drive a man on a quail hunting trip who is in a straight, horizontal line with other quail hunters to look at a quail that's straight ahead of him and end up shooting someone that is at a 90 degree rotation away from him in the face.
back to car accidents. yesterday, driving home from work, some dick slowed down by US1 auto parts near a car accident because there was glass and debris in the road. there was only a bit of glass because it was from a busted tail light. so, i honked at him. if you think i'm the dick for honking and not the person who slowed down, think about this: what good does slowing down do if you're going to run over the glass anyway? "oh, if i slow down, the glass will magically disappear. but, if i go normally, they will puncture my tires. pussy-feathers, what am i to do but slow down?" bullshit! you run the same risk either way. there better be a shitload of glass, a broken jar of nails, or a bag of thumbtacks before you slow me down from getting home in time to do absolutely nothing!
god forbid someone gets hurt in a car accident and the media finds out. then, you have to go to court. if you're watching the local news at the dinner table and they're talking about someone who showed up at court for an arraignment, i guarantee that they're gonna say that the accused person pleaded not guilty. they need to stop doing that. there is no need for this because any lucid person who has the brains to hire an attorney is gonna plead "not guilty". who in their right damn mind will go to the arraignment and say before a judge "yeah, i fucked up"? case and point: zacarias moussaoui, the "20th hijacker", pleaded guilty because he wanted to get the death penalty. when he got life in prison without parole, he wanted to change his plea to not guilty. too late, fucknut! if he wasn't stupid, he would've pleaded not guilty in the first place and taken the risk of getting off. it's only newsworthy if someone pleads guilty in a case like that, because hardly anyone is that stupid. i don't give a shit if some schmuck who broke into a house pleads not guilty. of course he's going to! that's more useless news than the monkey playing texas hold 'em on fox news.
i gotta start writing down my rant ideas as soon as i get them. i always kick myself for forgetting them the next day. that's what happened with my last rant. i just pulled that out of my ass. it wasn't as good as my earlier ones. again, if anyone actually reads these, feel free to leave comments, complaints, or whatever feedback.
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