my wife wanted to watch frasier earlier this evening. patrick stewart did a guest spot on the show. she said, "ooh, captain kirk." i said, "barbara, i'm going to forgive you for saying that." she replied, "oh, mr. spock?" i rebutted, "no, captain picard." at least i'm patient enough with my geekiness not to blow a gasket at something somewhat trivial.
i dislike frivolous litigation. god forbid, the assholes actually win, it makes shit too complicated. for example, look at a box of pop tarts. on the cooking instructions, the first instruction is "remove pastry from pouch." OOOOOOOH! THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!!! NO WONDER THERE'S SO MUCH SMOKE! the geniuses at the ny post reported that a staten island woman is suing her town for $900 trillion for putting her kids in foster care 4 years ago. let me write out that number for you. $900,000,000,000,000.00. just one more factor of ten, she could've hit quadrillion. she wants damages for mental distress because she was such a bad mother, her children were taken away from her. i don't know if she expects to get anything or if this is just a publicity stunt, but i believe that the judge hearing the case should have the authority to smack her in the head with a gavel for wasting everybody's time.
remember that bitch who spilled hot mcdonald's coffee all over herself and sued mcdonalds and won, despite the fact that the cup warned that the coffee was hot? i'm disappointed she wasn't struck by lightning as if by some knowledgeable intervention by an almighty force to make us smarter as a species. i was making mac and cheese tonight for dinner and i accidentally scooped boiling water on my abdomen. i... didn't... make... a... sound. did it hurt? fuck yeah, it did. it doesn't hurt anymore, though. so suck it up, cunthole.
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