Today's rant: my holiness

I am giving serious thought to starting my own religion in order to have a way to get around stupid rules that local, state, and federal governments set up.  The reason is that a white, Christian high school football coach just won a Supreme Court case regarding him praying after a football game.  I mention the color of his skin and his religion because you can bet your balls if he was Muslim, that shit wouldn't happen.  Separation of Church and State seems pretty selective.  Other established rules seem pretty selective depending on sex, gender, born or unborn, race, bedfellows, citizenship, being a company, and other factors.  So why not I?  Why don't I take advantage?

There is no regulating body on Earth that says what a church is or is not.  However, for the purposes of US government recognition, I will be referring to the IRS guidelines.  I use the term "guidelines" loosely because not all items on the list they give on their website are required, but merely a "combination of these characteristics".  I will also be referring to the IRS because I like the idea of getting tax-exempt status.

One thing I would need is a creed and form of worship.  I would define my form of worship as logging into my Discord chat room at least once a week and saying "hi" to everyone.  The creed needs to be more thought out, but it would be pinned at the top of the chat room.  Here is my creed:

1. You can wear a hat if you want. (I'm defining any man-made item as a hat, including headscarves and unicorn headbands)

2. If someone does something objectively stupid in front of  you, you can pray out loud asking that Joe Pesci busts their knees with a baseball bat.

3. Life is not sacred.  You wouldn't hold a funeral for bacteria after the doctor gives you medicine for your infection.

4.  That being said, try not to kill anybody.

5.  An abortion is a sacrament, though not mandatory.

6.  Gender and sexual orientation are spectrums.  Any combination or permutation is OK and not worth less than any other.

7.  All claims must be substantiated with the scientific method.

8.  All problems must be solved using quality control practices, such as Root Cause / Corrective Action, 8D method, A3 method, etc.

9.  If you get a discount when buying something, such as with an advertised sale, coupon, or gift card, donate the difference (cash equivalent or food equivalent) to a food bank.

I also need an established place of worship.  Discord.  I also need regular congregations.  As stated before, once a week to say "hi".  I also need "regular religious services".  I think I can accomplish that with a weekly live webcast that people can join.

One thing I see on the IRS guidelines that I find particularly weird is Sunday schools for instruction of the young.  Does it have to be Sunday?  Why is the IRS saying this?  Why not Wednesday during lunch?

Ok.  Who wants in?