I once asked a telemarketer if he has accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior. When he said that I shouldn’t push my religious views on other people, I said he shouldn’t push stupid bullshit over the telephone, wished him a fond “fuck you”, and hung up on him. It is what Jesus would have done.
Last year, I got a text message from the NRA asking me to call Lady G himself Lindsey Graham to oppose gun legislation. I replied “Fuck the NRA. Eat my taint. Take your gun, shove it up your ass, and pull the trigger.” Jesus would not have said that. He would have said to use a cross.
As you can see, I hate when people contact me for things that have absolutely nothing to do with me. Yesterday, I got an unsolicited email from a person representing a job recruiting agency asking if I wanted a position as a spare parts buyer for a company’s “Supplier Business Operations” team. I used quotation marks because I wanted to highlight that it is a self-inflated title that a company made up to sound more important. It sounds a lot fancier that the simpler term “buyers”. “I’m a supplier business operator!” No, you’re a buyer, and there’s nothing wrong with being a buyer. Regardless, that is not my field of expertise, and anyone who actually read my resume would not associate that job with me. I responded back criticizing his waste of time in emailing me, saying “please tell me exactly what in my resume made you think that it would be profitable to take the time to write me an email about buying shit when absolutely nothing in my resume even comes close to that job description.” The person responded back saying it was a mass email and apologized. The claim that it was a mass email means either he puts no thought into finding job candidates or his agency’s policies and procedures put no thought into finding job candidates. It’s the “throw it at the wall and see what sticks” maneuver.
I think my body hates the air. Different parts of my body start bothering me when the air changes for any reason. Low barometric pressure makes my right hip ache. Pollen shuts down my sinus cavities and makes my right eye swell and turn red. My dog’s various odors make me cough and gag in the morning when I have to clean up after her.
The “Reels” function on my Facebook mobile app is something I wish I could delete. The best thing I can do is “Hide” them to see them less often, but mathematically, there is only so often I can do that before hitting “Hide” does absolutely nothing. There is an asymptote that is eventually reached. If I cannot delete it, at the very least, I should be able to have a “thumbs down” button for the videos that are played.
This paragraph is written on Tuesday, March 21. The former Cheeto in Chief has said for the past week that he expects to be arrested today. It’s a pleasant thought… really pleasant, actually, but the mere fact that he said it makes me doubt it will actually happen. This is a hairpiece that said COVID will go away by Easter 2020 and never gave a replacement for the Affordable Care Act whenever he said he would. He has the timing of a flat-Earther.
This paragraph is written on March 22. Go figure, he’s full of shit. He’s trying to get people to notice him again, despite the fact that if he was for some reason arrested, he would most likely voluntarily arrive at the DA’s office with his lawyers and Secret Service, be processed, taken straight to an adjoining arraignment hearing room where he would skip everyone else in line, plead not guilty, then be released on his own recognizance before going back to Florida. If there are any handcuffs involved, they will never see daylight outside of a building. It’s all bullshit.
If the person is dead, is it still slander or libel?
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