tonight for dinner, i ordered pizza hut delivery. you remember that scene in "ace ventura: pet detective" where jim carrey took a naked cold shower crying his sick little ass off because he felt so disgusted? after eating half that pizza, i'm slowly considering it. i'm especially disappointed because i remember a time where pizza hut wasn't half bad. most everyone around my age should be able to think back to elementary school and remember the "book it" program. essentially, you read a book and you earned a free personal pan pizza. no more such happiness. then again, what would you expect from commercially mass-reproduced pizza?
when i took a bite of the first slice, my first impression was that the texture was not so different from a wet hamburger. you've had pizza before. despite the fact that some pizza places may make their pizza a bit differently than other places, i think they are all in conjunction that the crust is supposed to hold the pizza together. wouldn't you agree? i mean, there is supposed to be some kind of resistance in the crust when you go to bite it. apparently, this pizza hut does not hold to that. if i wanted to, i could roll it up into a ball, chuck it at the living room wall, and it would stick there. i thought domino's and papa john's were pretty amorphous and without texture, but this took the cake. screw that, fuck cake. cake would've been a better texture. i wish i knew this when i was still in college. it would've been interesting having pizza ball fights in my dorm hall.
something tells me that this pizza is not going to sit well with my stomach. when i look down at the open pizza box, and i can see the ceiling fan rotating in the reflection of the grease and fat, that's a sign. perhaps it's pepto bismal time. not the liquid, the pink pills. does anyone actually read these?
No comments:
Post a Comment