today’s rant: reverend wright, barbie, originally 4/29/08

so basically, he's on a media campaign that may hurt obama in the long run.  on one side of the issue, he claims that he wants to elaborate the context of the snippits of video the media had a hardon for viewing.  on the other side of the issue, people claim that he is self-serving his own agenda and intentionally hurting the presidential hopeful.

my view:  it's both.  of course he wants to portray himself and his pulpit in a better light.  who wouldn't?  for example, what's funnier than watching some white conservative evangelical you see on a sunday morning cable show getting caught in a homosexual relationship and try to do some damage control?  with wright, why stop at damage control?  why not shoot back at the central figure that cast him in the darkness to begin with?

now then, a moment of clarity.  i don't give a shit what wright says with respect to obama.  nothing he says changes my opinion of obama.  he doesn't speak for him.  it doesn't matter.  despite this, it won't stop people from thinking it matters.

ok, that's off my chest.  now for the good shit.  iran has a ban on barbie.  yes, ladies and gentlemen.  a 7-inch piece of plastic and all that it stands for is going to be the downfall of iranian society.  that's the key.  we don't need nuclear arms.  we don't need diplomacy.  we need mattel.  if we knew this sooner, we wouldn't have sent care packages to iraq before blowing it into the stone age (which was a vast improvement).  we would've sent barbie dolls, and mattel's stock would've soared because technically, they'd be a government sub-contracted company.

the exact quote i've read is "The unrestrained entry of this sort of imported toys ... will bring destructive cultural and social consequences in their wake," from an iranian cleric.  destructive cultural and social consequences?  barbie does not cause destructive cultural and social consequences.  termites cause destructive cultural and social consequences, but not barbie.  the worst damage i've ever heard a barbie doll cause was a story told by my dad.  when he used to work in a department store, he and his friends working there would take barbie and ken dolls out of their packaging, pull their pants down, and lay the ken dolls on top of the barbie dolls.  fun for the whole family.  if conservative iranians can't handle that, maybe they should have a ken doll shoved up their asses.