today’s rant: my work area, originally 11/8/08

my work area is not meant for normal human beings to tolerate.  i will petition that obama's first act as president is to declare my desk a national disaster area.  the first reason why is because it's just too damn hot.  we deal with a lot of glass and epoxy, both of which react to different temperatures.  therefore, our office needs to temperature controlled.  somewhere along the line, someone in management decided that 80 degrees F for 24 hours a day was just fine and dandy.  ugh.  i'm not a cactus for god's sake, despite i have prickly hairs on my face from not shaving.  i can't take 8 hours of sitting in a sauna for 5 days a week.  it's early november for fuck's sake, and i'm still blowing my fan in my face.  that just ain't right.  (on a side note, at my last job, i worked in an area that was 86 degrees in the summer because the machines we used would ventilate right in our faces, like a 24/7 wet fart without the smell)

the 2nd reason why my work area is uninhabitable is because my desk is an outright mess.  i'm fairly sure there is a small trans-dimensional gateway located on my desk because stuff appears there when i don't expect it and i lose razor blades and pens left and right.  ever try to gather a bunch of trash on your desk and accidentally grip a razor blade?  i have a better understanding of what a bear goes through when stepping into a bear trap.  i use this metaphor because just look at me.  i'm a hairy, sweaty mess that loves fresh salmon.  gripping a hidden razor blade makes me groan in pain and terror, then i feel like taking a nap for 5 months out of the year.  i'll tell you this much:  shit gets so hectic at work that those razor blades start looking mighty friendly after a while.

i'm starting to write more and more of these at work since there are times when i need to use a certain machine, but someone else uses it for 2 hours at a time.  i try to pass the time by doing the usual stuff, like counting the days 'til christmas, thinking about what i'm gonna do later in the week, play sudoku, re-enacting classic video games in my head... ok, that is not as usual, but endure me for a minute.  super mario brothers, world 1-1.  you just passed 1 goomba, then 2 more goombas, you've reached the first infinite hole o' death.  you don't jump over the hole just yet, do you?  of course not.  you know exactly what's next.  take 6 steps back and jump up.  hidden 1-up mushroom, biatch!!!