i'm going to pennsylvania tomorrow morning. so, for all of you fake women who send me friend requests and have the exact same myspace page that is one giant link to a popup ad, i won't be here to mark you as spam and verbally abuse you for the next few days. sorry. don't worry, i'll make it up to you when i get back on tuesday. until then, i hope you all get a spoonful of superAIDS shoved up your ass.
i haven't been on a legitimate vacation in years. there have been overnight stays at casinos, roadtrips for gigs, but nothing over prolonged period strictly for saying to people "i can do whatever the fuck i want! outta my way!!!"
someone wanted to sell me a dvd of hancock and the dark knight today when i was putting gas in my car. come on. why pay $5 for a dvd when i can download the exact same crappy screener copy that he has for free? you're not the only one with a fast internet connection and a dvd burner. is that all it takes to achieve the status of annoying SOB that fucks with you while you pump gas? kind of ironic. back in the old days, the annoying people on the street had windex and a squeegee. nowadays, it's a dvd burner and an internet connection. the standard of living is definitely on the rise. time to think how to top that. let's see... i could claim i have them both, or that i'm a cyborg and have both stored on my internal hard drive that has a 70 terabyte capacity. i could point and laugh at their inferior memory capacity before they beat the shit out of me with my own shoes.
this just in: the internet fucker known as the "spam king" killed two people, then himself. autopsy results show an excessive amount of penis enlargement pills in his system when he blew his brains out. according to his will, he wants to be buried in nigeria next to the graves of some of his friends who were killed in a ruthless government conspiracy while they were trying to smuggle $15,000,000.00 (fifteen million) USD out of the country. if i ever had the chance to piss on someone's grave, hitler would be 1 on the list. this guy would be 2.
this guy is one of those people who would make the world a better place if they were dead. now, he is. unfortunately, he took 2 people with him. let's play a morbid game: hypothetically (it sucks that i actually have to say "hypothetically" because the following is a joke. the following is not serious), who would make the world a better place if they were dead? top 2 on my list: nancy grace and bill o'reilly. you can have your pick of serial rapists, mass murderers, and political tyrants, but those 2 are mine. i'll also throw in iran's president, the entire westboro baptist church, and jar jar binks.
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