you ever download a movie, but it turns out the file you downloaded is something completely different from what you wanted? i tried downloading what i thought was "saw 4". turns out the file was only called "saw 4" and was actually a straight-to-video horror movie called "are you scared?". so i watched it. why? because i'm an idiot! here's the rundown: a blatant ripoff of the "saw" franchise where the antagonist is some douchebag with burns on his body. plot made no sense, acting was horrible, and i've seen better special effects in those "what really happened" videos that you see on break.com and collegehumor.com where the TIE fighters are overlapped on the videos. that movie made "american pie band camp" look academy-award-worthy.
vince mcmahon assaults midgets. this may sound like my "mitt romney kills kittens" phrase a few months back, but now i'm telling the truth. he did it on live TV last monday. at some point that day, he and his writers thought it would be a good idea to choke a midget on live TV. my guess is that he hadn't masturbated that day, and he needed to get his hand around something in order to take the edge off, otherwise he gets carpel-tunnel syndrome.
i was at the laudromat today, and as i parked the car, i noticed that someone left an old lady in their backseat in a car right beside mine. engine was off and she was just twitching around as many old people do. is that legal to do? just leave a geriatric in a car? if it is, i think i just got an idea to save families thousands of dollars a month in retirement center rent. if only my mom knew that before she shipped my grandma off to buffalo to bask in an alzheimer's oblivion.
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