ok, so myspace is experiencing "technical difficulties", so i’m going to copy and paste this at my earliest convenience. until then, wordpad will have to do. as i’m writing this, the grammys haven’t even started yet. (interuption, the lights just flickered. windy outside, so i guess the power lines are getting fucked up) even though the show hasn’t started yet, they’ve already announced all awards except for 10. that means that they are going to fill in about 3.5 hours of television with performances and only about 10 awards. let’s work out the math. 210 minutes minus commercials, avg 3 minutes of commercials 5 times an hour, we’re down to about 159 minutes. 10 performances, including introductions and applause, 5 minutes each, that’s 109 minutes left. let’s say another 5 minutes to announce the winners of each of the 10 remaining awards, that’s 59 minutes left. that’s 1 hour unaccounted for. FUCK! can’t wait to see what they do.
amy winehouse is a drug addict, she won some grammys. kanye west has anger problems, he won some grammys.
ok, grammys are beginning. alicia keys is playing piano and singing with frank sinatra’s ghost. i like alicia keys and all, but i feel like i’m watching a vacuum cleaner commercial with fred astaire daincing around. carrie underwood... *sigh*, my main problem is not her. it’s just that i’ve heard "before he cheats" about 9,354.8 times in the past 12 months. i guess i better get used to it because i’m potentially going to be performing it in my upcoming a cappela group. any group name ideas? ok, i digress.
why do people always attribute god with the phrase "without whom nothing is possible" or "without whom i could never have done this"? i’m not trying to be anti-religious, but from the perspective of bachelor of physics like myself, it seems like it would make more sense to say "first and foremost, i have to thank the nuclear strong force, without whom the molecules in my body would fly apart and i would not exist on any level of being." given that they’re in LA, i’d like to fuck with some celebrities’ minds and thank Lord Xenu.
my jungle love, o-e-o-e-o. that shit is the mad note, written by god herself and given to the greatest band in the world: the motherfucking time! cirque and gospel beatles? works for me.
amy winehouse couldn’t get a visa to perform or accept any awards. come on, it’s only LA. it’s not like she’s trying to score a plane ticket to colombia where she could really put her drug problem to good use.
8:45, kanye is peforming. i’m going to make a prediction and say that the award that’s given out immediately after him goes to him. have no idea what the award is yet, but he’s going to win it. at the very least, interesting performance. 8:52, ok, another performance. fergie is flat...tone-wise. you perverts. alright, my prediction was wrong. they used to do it all the time at the kids or teen choice awards. the band would perform, then they’d get presented all awards right afterward. hell, they did it for alicia tonight already.
considering that CBS and MTV are owned by the same company, you think there’s going to be another broadcasted meltdown or debacle a la superbowl 37? i’m not discounting it as a possibility.
this may just be the seam of her outfit, but do i see camel toe on beyonce? why is hilary clinton performing? oh, that’s tina turner.
the musical interruption of kanye’s acceptance ramble was pretty entertaining. maybe if he got to thanking people instead of talking about the other nominees or the state of hip-hop, he wouldn’t’ve been interrupted during his mommy rambling. did you hear aretha right before the instrumentalists were introduced? she was going dibidibidibidibidibidi... ranting like the great cornholio.
what have we learned? the best music apparently does come from people while they’re doing drugs and you can also get a grammy by adding a syllable to a word and saying it over and over again, like umbrella.
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