today’s rant: easy music, no winter, originally 3/29/08

kevorkian is running for senate.  YES!  in the entirety of us history, has there ever been a senator convicted of murder?

for some reason, i was watching "10 great reasons:  boy and girl bands" on fuse tv.  they mentioned "sexy back" by justin timberfuck.  i know i’m spelling it wrong and that there’s no space between sexy and back, but fuck you.  it’s not a real compound word, so i’m fixing it.  *sighs*  timbaland wrote a really shitty song.  i usually rag on him and justin for repeating the same 4 measures of music over and over again.  "sexy back" has one measure, 2 notes.  one measure.  1.  uno.  x to the 0 power.  2 notes.  A, A sharp.  that is not a song.  that is my youngest infant cousin hitting a musical toy in two spots.  thus, we can conclude timbaland has the musical expertise of an infant.  for fuck sake, all you need to have a hit pop song is a lot of bass drum and some synthesized percussion.  fuck you too, max martin.

why do guidos put rims on the shittiest cars and put enough bass in their trunk to annoy a deaf person?  what purpose do you serve making the word "stratus" on your trunk rattle?

i need a date to come with me to a wedding.  any takers?

since easter passed recently, I thought of an idea for a blasphemous internet video:  "two messiahs, one grail".

i am supremely disappointed in this past winter.  there were only 2 days of snow.  weathermen weren’t even close in predicting snow fall.  we were promised blizzards, we got fog.  we we’re promised ice, we got a bowl of shit at our doorsteps.  we should take all the weather people out back and give them a spanking, or at least a flogging.  we did not have a winter.  we had an extended fall.  how do these people still have their jobs?  if they were in any other industry and they fucked up like this, they’d be blacklisted forever. next time you want the real weather, open your eyes and look out your window.  if you’re ballsy enough, stick your hand out that window, too.