for the past two days, i've been calling up a couple of people who are advertising apartments closer to where i work. this must be an industry standard, but they both asked the same questions: do i have pets, do i smoke, and what job i have. how rewarding would it have been if i said "yes, i have a cougar. what don't i smoke? i'm a stay-at-home pornstar." that would rattle their cages a bit. they'd probably charge me more money. i really don't need much when it comes to someplace to live. i'm not that picky, i just don't want it to be a shit hole. i don't want to invite friends over and try to explain away the fucked up apartment i acquired. "i see you're noticing the falling wallpaper. i was going for more of a bohemian motif, portraying the image of a starving artist. speaking of which, can i borrow $50? i've been hungry for (looks at wristwatch) a week. also, ignore the black mold. if it creeps up on you, it's only because it likes you."
one of the realtors never called me back to set up a meeting or a showing. i'm not all that disappointed, though. he wanted to charge me more money than the other realtor i'm considering. that doesn't really show any conviction on his part. what a lazy fuck. doesn't he still want me to cough up $1000 a month? if not, he can go fuck himself. he can take his dick, turn it backwards, and shove it up his ass repeatedly until he reaches climax.
the drive from home to work is just too much. i can't take it much longer. why the fuck do i want to drive 75 miles round trip 5 times a week? 45 minute drive in one direction, an hour and 10 minutes in the other. it gets to the point where i wish i had a bulldozer to just push cars out of the way. hopefully, finding a closer apartment can trim my commute immensely. it will definitely cut down my aggressive tendencies and make me happy thinking about everyone who is fucked while they're in traffic. if you are one of those people, sorry, but i'll be happy not to be one of you anymore.
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