Today's rant: reels

Here's a phrase that will get a guy kicked out of the bedroom:  "So is that what Ke$ha meant when she said 'Wake up in the mornin' feeling like P. Diddy'?"

I recently spent 3 months unemployed.  I was working remotely auditing suppliers, and then my facility was bought out at the end of June.  We were all told that we would get paperwork regarding new employment agreements that day.  When I emailed HR at the end of the day because I didn't receive any, he called me to say that there was no employment agreement for me because I was remote.  Well, fuck me silly.  Unemployment sucks.

I hate Facebook reels.  They are all stupid.  The absolute worse ones are those that ask math a question for the viewer to answer in the comments section.  The comments devolve into a thousand screaming voices that cannot hear each other about the rules of PEMDAS.  Everyone's sanity would improve if they just bought a used TI-30II calculator to answer the question instead of wasting their brain cells trying to scroll down in the comments section and argue with people they will never meet about if the answer is either 4 or 80.  Is it even financially possible to monetize a 5 second reel that has an unsolved math problem on it?  I don't think it is.  Ben Affleck and Matt Damon knew that wasn't possible.  That's why, instead, they made a major motion picture with Robin Williams out of the idea and won an Academy Award.

Another group of Facebook reels that deserve to have their creators locked in a "Saw" movie are recipes.  Exactly how the fuck are we supposed to jot down all of the portions, sizes, ingredients, times, and temperatures in 15 seconds or less?  It's impossible!  Now we have to watch the stupid fucking shitreel 10 times on replay before anyone gets all the information.

Today's rant: election season

I don't like the idea of political assassination.  That being said... YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB TO DO!

A fire chief in PA had to resign after making a Facebook post about wanting the bullet to have been 2 inches to the right.  Kyle Gass from Tenacious D was dropped from his talent agency for joking the shooter missed.  You know what?  I think they got hosed.  Why?  Because fuck Drumpf, that's why.

I dare you to make an argument why God decided that children in a school should be shot and killed and the old rich guy should be shot at and live.  I FUCKING DARE YOU!

If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would say that the shooter didn't miss, and that the intended target was the firefighter.  I don't know for what purpose, but someone should go chase down that idea.  It's essentially the plot of the pilot episode of "Monk".  It makes as much sense as anything the FBI has determined so far over a motive.

I don't live in South Carolina anymore.  Fuck you, SC.  You were always the stupider of the Carolinas.  That's why we have 2 of them.  I live in Washington, now.  They mail out a pamphlet to let you know who and what you can vote for in upcoming elections.  I've started looking through this fucking thing, and goddamn, there's a lot to vote on.  Everyone running has a summary of what experience they have, their jobs, their education, and their mission statements.  The first thing in the pamphlet is US Senator.  A fair number of these people are complaining about a $34 trillion US debt and trying to scare people into suggesting their kids will have to pay for it.  Hey fuck-os!  A generation ago, schmucks like you did exactly the same thing to my parents, and I have never had to pay tens of thousands of dollars to settle some imaginary debt owed.  You act like one day, every single dollar will have to be paid at once.  That's not how that works, you dingleberries.  Haven't you ever heard of a monthly installment plan?  So fuck you and your scare tactics.  That's almost as stupid as "Goodspaceguy" whose campaign platform includes studying free market economics (Reaganomics red flag), ending homelessness, and building a giant orbital space colony.  Like I said:  almost as stupid.

Today's rant: domestication

The following is a list of household micro-annoyances that I need to jot down somewhere, else they may fester in my soul until I unleash them on unsuspecting family members:

- When I do laundry for my kids, I put my oldest kid's sweatshirts on clothes hangers.  They then proceed to take the sweatshirt and put it on their floor or drape it on the chair in their room.  Apparently, the hanger was not a big enough clue to use the closet.

- Resting toilet paper rolls on top of finished cardboard rolls is a thing that my family members do.  I guess it is up to me to remove the cardboard cylinder to recycle it and place the new roll properly on the dispenser.

- Our washing machine is a top-loader, and I am the only one tall enough to reach in to take wet clothes out to put them in the dryer.  My back muscles are angry with me.

The primary reason I hate Tik Tok is because when there is background music for the video being played, the video loops back to the beginning without the music syncing up.  So what ends up happening is my partner will hypothetically be watching a makeup hack, and Lizzo will be playing in the background.  "I do my hair toss, check my nails.  Baby how you feelin'?  I FEEL GOOD AS HELL!  Hair toss, check my nails.  Baby how y...(loop) I do my hair toss, check my nails.  Baby how you feelin'?  I FEEL GOOD AS HELL!  Hair toss, check my nails.  Baby how y...(loop) I do my hair toss..."  My brain cannot process any new input or stimulus for quite a while.  My base instinct tells me to grab a claw hammer and eliminate the source of the disturbance.

Ok, here's my goddamn opinion about the Israel-Hamas war:  Hamas needs to be wiped off the face of the earth and Netanyahu needs to face war crimes charges for bombing civilians and aide workers.